Omid Djalili's childhood was unconventional, to say the least. He was raised in a beautiful, chaotic, cramped, colorful, and legally dubious guesthouse where his parents fed and watered Iranian nationals flocking to the UK for medical treatment on the NHS. Over 20 years, almost 2000 and "cousins and " passed through the Djalili's doors, and the young Omid played translator to each. Although these years taught him a lot about the rich tapestry of life, this parenting by committee led to a slightly checkered school career which saw Omid taking his A levels a record six times, and eventually fake his own university entrance papers. Desperate to be free of his cramped living quarters he escapes to the University of Ulster, where he lives a life of wonderful solitude. Full of the warmth and intelligence that makes Omid such a successful comedian and sought-after actor, this memoir takes us on an incredible and laugh-out-loud funny journey through an unusually British life.