On paper Darren Ferguson has the perfect life: two healthy children, a well-paid job, a nice house and a beautiful wife. But scratch below the surface and all is not what it seems. His kids barely recognise him, he's close to murdering his boss with a stapler, and his wife is more interested in bodypumping at the gym than bodypumping with him. Taking drastic measures to set his life back on the right track, Darren's plans don't run quite as smoothly as he'd envisaged. Particularly when the object of his teenage fantasies is added to the mix... This is the second short story in Alice Ross's The Trouble With... series. Previously published as 'Never Drop Dead On A Friday' and 'Never Have Sex With Your Socks On'