How to influence the behavior of the boss if he finds fault with you on trifles? How to talk with your husband about a cooled relationship? How do you explain to your child that the purchase of a new computer is postponed indefinitely? We try to avoid uncomfortable conversations and even praise ourselves for resilience. But we lose more if we keep quiet and endure. Based on 15 years of research at Harvard, this book will help you connect fruitfully with different people in different situations. She will teach you: - focus on what you hear, not what you say; - look at the situation from different angles and take the position "and," not "or"; - block the attacks and tricks of the interlocutor; - sincerely listen, show empathy and finally stop postponing uncomfortable conversations for later!