What had started out as one small panic attack has morphed into something else entirely for Jake Forest. One more Google search, one more squirt of hand sanitizer will surely keep him safe. In control. Alive. Because dying is not an option. He's the twin who survived. The strong one, or so he's been told. Jake becomes obsessed with controlling things in his life in order to keep from causing his mother more of the pain she'd felt when she'd lost Nathan. But trying to remain in control sends Jake into a constant state of high alert. Jake's world spirals out of control as he begins lying to keep those close to him in the dark about his obsessive thoughts.Told through inner dialogues, conversations with a therapist and plot-twisting texts emails from a mysterious girl he meets on a plane, Jake must decide which battle is worth fighting. Is his desire to appear strong more important than admitting that he suffers from mental illness? Is he willing to jeopardize his relationship with his girlfriend, Summer Matthews, his father, and his friends to maintain this perception of control?