This book is about my kidnap thriller, The Locked Door.It is my second of four novels and none are really novels at all but something far more sinister.The idea was confinement.Why, I didn't know; I just felt a need to express it.Naturally, I made it into a kidnap thriller.During my writing, I connected with this 'strand'. This strand grew addictive, compulsive, shameful, deathly and creepy. Little did I realize the source of this strand.Not until the age of 51 when I learned something truly terrible about myself.The precis to The Locked Door "This hostage has a secret."Gemma would appear to have money, a devoted husband, a lively son, and a fulfilling career. But her life takes a nasty turn when she is kidnapped and trapped in an upstairs room by three thugs demanding a huge ransom from her rich father."In a bid to escape, she cuts a hole in the bedroom floor. From there, Gemma spies on her kidnappers below. That's when their hostage starts playing games with them. That's when her spying pulls her into a treacherous psychological game that endangers her sanity."As the story progressed, the captive's life began to feel as real as mine. She became like an avatar that I would enter when I craved escapism from my otherwise mundane life.With the terrible truth now known, I have analysed The Locked Door. I am appalled at what I have found.This novel appears to possess a shadow novel beneath the apparent one.During the writing, I was completely oblivious to it.In order to convey the intensity of my other world, I have included illustrations and diary excerpts within this account.I have used a pseudonym and made minor adjustments in order to protect my identity. This account is otherwise entirely accurate.