My mother told me "do not arrange a dummy for another, otherwise she will come back around," and I disobeyed, now I have to disentangle what I got into. I understand perfectly well that this is a ridiculous accident, only this does not make it easier. The road home is lost forever, my relatives are not nearby and will never be again, and my very future hangs in the balance. What to do, how to deal with it... I have no idea. I hope that my human life-loving nature will not allow to disappear in the vastness of the Universe.