This is not a scientific work or even a claim to a popular science or non-fiction publication. This is the personal opinion and personal emotions of a person who, by the will of fate, was at the forefront of one of the hardest areas of Soviet foreign policy, defense and security of the USSR. These are diary entries and chronological statements of the researcher, who approached the assessment of the world around him in Afghanistan not only with soul, but also with pain in the heart, with empathy and anger about many Soviet and Afghan absurdities during the real military confrontation in Afghanistan.