Like Moses delivering forth the Ten Commandments, Chunklet magazine presents you with The Rock Bible—the complete rules for living an authentic life of rock ’n’ roll. Here are hundreds of wise and witty guidelines for Drummers: “If you’re one of those drummers who sets up at the front of the stage, back the hell up. You are the goalies of rock; play your position.” Singers: “When you feel like stage-diving, first make sure the people in the front like your music enough to catch you.” Guitarists: “No one’s looking at your guitar strap. Don’t ever spend more than the cost of an average meal on something that can be replaced by a particularly hearty piece of string.”