Schizophrenia is covered with a halo of romance. The image of an artist who sees in reality his ghostly double, inspired by creativity by mysterious voices, is repeatedly dubbed in fiction and films. And how does schizophrenia proceed in ordinary people living a seemingly unremarkable life? What is schizophrenia really - the result of organic or genetic damage or the manifestation of hidden spiritual possibilities that rebel from the boredom of everyday life? Esme Weijun Wang's book tells about this. Although, in fairness, the writer cannot be called an ordinary person. Realizing the peculiarities of her psyche, she embarked on the path... no, not healing. Complete healing in her case is impossible. But she embarked on the path of analyzing and understanding what was happening to her, which is a victory in itself.