Feel too stupid to read an actual book on Java programming? You just might be. Start here with Java for Fucking Idiots. Written by a recovering idiot, this book will walk you through the very fundamentals of Java at a pace you can follow, and with a structure that makes sense. I make absolutely minimal assumptions about your background throughout the entire book. I avoid using overly complex examples, provide simple code snippets and metaphors, and in general have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. But I wrote a book, so yeah what the hell, why not. This is a fast, easy read that will guide you through the basics of Java; from variables, methods, and operators, to classes, objects, and packages.