Memoir of Pavel Vasilyevich Zhadan (1901-1975), the last St. George Knight (awarded for fighting in Northern Tavria), an emigrant and active member of the NTS, who went from emigration to Russia to create a "third force" and an independent free Russian state. Zhadan recalls life on the farms of Stavropol before the revolution, describes the events of the Civil War, of which he was an eyewitness, the time of the German occupation in 1941-44. and the life of Russian emigration in Germany in the postwar years.