This tutorial has a funny name, and friendly face, but it's serious about making learning Haskell fun. Volume 1 is a most enjoyable way for programming beginners to start with Haskell. It will take your reading from zero to halfway thru beginner-level, and your writing to the tiniest pre-beginner (basic) programs. Uses gradual, staged, small whole programs and fun examples with useful illustrations. Many books don't address the subject of how to craft solutions, or they just leave you with nothing but some exercises and your own intuition. Most are focussed heavily on programming language topics first, and how you use them to do things second, if at all. You'll notice we're primarily interested in you learning how to do useful things, rather than the language for its own sake. Practical things will anchor the language more in your memory and experience. Our material is cleverly crafted to gradually introduce you to the entire language. We do this over the course of the various, interesting examples which are present in every chapter, across all the volumes. We chose this way because the other way bores people to sleep, which is inconsiderate and tedious. Countless people have found programming difficult to learn because of boring examples, unpolished writing, or material being organised for language features rather than learner interest. On the other hand, we've seen great success in material that uses varied repetition, amusing useful pictures, fun examples using real-world topics and small graded steps. This guided our choices in building the entire series, one volume of which you have in your hands. If motivation really is what pulls us through practice, then we sincerely hope we've inspired motivation and excitement in you with this series, and wish you never forget the love that we all share for learning and programming. May it guide you always.